Best of Grizzard: Golf – Chattanoogan.com
In his 1990 book “Does A Wild Bear Chip in the Woods?” Lewis Grizzard, Jr. (LG) is making a remarkable transition from a non-golfer from Moreland, Georgia (no country club) to a life as a par shooter at various elite courses in the United States and the foreign.
With an opening quote from the late golf great Arnold Palmer (AP), the Southern links comedian’s career has unfolded in 150 pages on the game that will amuse and entertain even those who have never picked up a club!
“Grizzard wrote a fun book about golf, but it’s not as fun as his game” (AP)
In 20 chapters, he recounts his career in the sport with titles as tantalizing as “Rules Are Bent to Be Broken, Divorce: An American Golf Tragedy, Kiss My Ace, It Really Went In, The Men’s Grill, The Final Frontier, and the main topic of this article “Why are there no Republicans in public courts?”
While the content of the final chapter may apply equally to wealthy Democrats, LG quickly moves on to its interpretation of a list of 11 ways to distinguish public from private lessons. Included are a few excerpts that are designed to insult and amuse you by the author:
“The practice balls of the private club would later become an inventory pro-shop at public Classes;”
“TO private class, they’ll shine your dress shoes while you play. To public Of course, they’ll steal your dress shoes while you’re playing:’
“Thinner private the clubs will have a wine bar. More public clubhouses have a wine in a corner sleeping with a drunkard; »
“TO private courses, the men impose the day and the hours when the women can play. To public course, wives usually decide when husbands can play; »
“TO private course, they play it as it is. To public course, they play it as it is, then lie;”
If you weren’t insulted or laughed out loud, LG includes a glossary of 18 golf terms and the true meaning of 27 golf clichés at the end of the post.
(If you’re a golfer, beg, borrow, or steal a copy of the book! It won’t improve your golf score, but it will make this crazy world laugh.)
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You can reach Jerry Summers at [email protected])